Hey, Shrimpton--you've gotten my gender wrong again. With your persistent confusing of my gender and your tortured English, I'm wondering whether the tools of your trade, i.e. house paint, creosote, and thinners, have impaired your mental abilities.

Of greater concern to you, no doubt, is your admission of suffering from erectile dysfunction. I admire your courage in admitting this in a public forum. Embracing the problem is always the first step toward a remedy. And, even though you describe the condition as 'fitfully' (by which I assume you mean your erection is intermittent) there are certainly many options available to you to improve your performance. As you already know, I work in the pharmaceutical industry and a significant percentage of my older male patients experience similar impairment. There are currently three drugs on the market developed specifically for males of advancing years suffering from varying degrees of impotency. The most popular is, of course, Viagra. But it's worth considering Cialis or Levitra, because individuals respond differently to many drugs. However, many impotence treatments have side effects. Most male impotence treatments also tend to limit sexual spontaneity. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra have to be taken 15-60 minutes before arousal. Other treatments require you to inject your penis with drugs, insert a suppository into your urethra, even attach an external vacuum pump to your penis.  

Before you choose to pursue a medical solution, it is usual to rule out factors such as an unattractive partner, repressed homosexual tendencies, or broader anxieties, which can all manifest themselves as diminished libido.

Finally, please be aware that although you may be tempted to purchase medication without consulting your physician, through fear of embarrassment, those of us in the industry are increasingly aware of a flood of counterfeit drugs which may have little or no efficacy at all and may even be harmful.

HTH.

Or, my version.

Your lack of a woodie is Mother Nature telling you to just keep it in your pants

Jesus. JD!  The rest of us didn't read it

Exactly what I was thinking!

She's gonna whip my ass but good now...

(shhh... don't let her know I like it.. )

Oh, it's all OK, they are to marry soon and it will become the norm!!!  

Awwww. Don't make fun now. ED is treatable and nothing to be ashamed of. Shrimpton should be commended for his courage in admitting his problem.

He likes to be hit four times.

He also likes to wear a diaper and recite Wordsworth in Swahili during the whipping.

Oops. I guess he didn't want me to share that little tidbit.

--

I can't believe you mentioned the Swahili part.

That was supposed to be our secret